i love how im just sitting here in my room crying in the dark wishing i had another life.

not myself today just thinking about how I’ve distance myself from alot of people makes me sad esp my friend sarah . i honestly dont deserve to be her friend.

Ugh full out emo today, feel so depressed.

Have you ever been so sad that you can’t even cry you just sit there and think about how sad you are

Ugh the anxiety attacks haven’t calmed down. Blah

just started my new meds, went from zoloft 75 mg + 100 mg seroquel (antipsychotics)

to 150 venlafaxine ( effixor) + 100 mg seroquel ( antipsychotics ) + 2 mg of adivan ( for anxiety attacks in the morning )

lets hope for the best was kinda scared to take so much…. blah my friend is onthe same kind said when he switched to it for the first couple weeks he was pre emo and tired and anti-social D: i really hope my body doesnt react the same 

i dont really talk to all my followers only a few… uhmm i really think this i asking too much , like i asked the girl i really like and sorta not really mentioned this to my bestie…. but I’m switching meds…….. double the dosage i usually take , and a few other meds… im actually scared to start them to i havnt till tomorrow because if i did yesterday i wouldnt of want to go to armin even tho hes like the main person who takes my depression away….. but i just want like you guys to ask me random questions keep me distracted… most of u well be like ”  i aint got time for dat * eats nutella*” lol  but like just if u can, and karl i know obv u will :p and thnx for actually makin a effort for tryna be there for me even tho we havnt met =] maybe one day doe! no homo doe! ( not tryna be like.. mean lol u get my jokes) but yah ninja :D thnx guys , or even better yet post even funnier stuff :D keep me entertained :D love you all <3 i hope u guys love me to?

this girl has been on my mind for awhile now….. shes everything i would want in a girl, she may not thing much of her self but i think shes perfect just the way she is. i can say im lucky to have her back in my life and hope not to lose her again. even tho it wasnt my fault. but maybe im still having a competition with her past… maybe i shouldnt open up as much as i do to her until she shows me she wants me to? just to many things have been been going through my mind lately been so stressed cuz of school but im glad im done my finals but patiently waiting my marks, to stressing and work, and family and friends ugh. last thing i want to do is drag her down the same road i am. i honestly just want to see her happy with or without me. im just gonna back off a bit give her some space?… i just dont want her to slip out of my fingers cuz i really do like her and i do wish for more from her, but maybe the wounds are still fresh. Maybe she isnt ready. i just hope she doesnt sabotage her own happiness because she doesnt thinks he deserves it.